Chapter Eighteen

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version,

copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a division of Good News Publishers.

Used by permission. All rights reserved.

A Second Adoption

For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.Psalm 100:5

            As they continued to get settled in their new house, Anne and Mike no longer had reason to delay addressing what God was putting on their hearts. With Mike’s health stabilized, and their family blessed with financial security, it was time to find a sibling for Noah, something they had intended from the time of his adoption.

            “Noah’s adoption had come about in a manner we hadn’t anticipated, and we knew if we were to have another child, it would be a decision directed by God. 

            “Mike and I agreed to fast and to seek God’s specific will. Did He want us adopting again? If yes, were we to do so domestically or internationally? Either adoption route would have its own stressors and wait times. We had talked about those issues, and what they would mean for us.

            “This was the first time Mike had agreed to fast—he knew doing so would bring clarity.  Every two hours we prayed. After our fifth time of prayer, I heard God speak to my heart—yes, we were to adopt, and we were to adopt internationally.

            “An international adoption wasn’t on our radar. I wasn’t sure this was truly from God. I wrote in my journal, and then wrote the same information on a separate piece of paper. I wanted to be sure I was hearing God clearly; I needed confirmation from Mike.”

            They were ten hours into fasting, sitting side-by-side on their couch, praying, when Mike stopped, looked at Anne, and said, “I’ve heard from God.”

            “So have I,” Anne told him.

            “Well?” he questioned.

            “No, you go first,” she said.

            “Well, OK,” he said.

            “I could hear the reluctance in Mike’s voice, but I urged him to continue.”

            “We’re to do an international adoption,” he said.

            “It was then I showed Mike the piece of paper where I had written that very message. That was the validation we both needed.”

            Not sure where to begin, Anne researched adoption agencies in Seattle. The firm she selected had been in business for thirty years. I called the agency and said we were interested in adopting—that we wanted a baby brother for Noah. I was told they specifically worked with Russia. They didn’t ask, but Mike and I were interested in a child no older than six months. Three months later, the agency finally sent us four videos, each of a child in need of a permanent home.

            “Mike and I looked at each other and then at the videos, waiting to be viewed. The impact of how different this process would be compared to adopting Noah seemed to hit us at the same time. We were chosen to be Noah’s parents, and had agreed to adoption without knowing the gender of the child Helen was carrying. The one thing we knew would be the same was the home study—we knew exactly what that would mean—we had already prepared ourselves mentally for that long process.

            “Mike voiced the questions that were running through my mind.” 

            “How do we choose? How do we know which child? And there’s four. What about the other three? How do we say no to them?” he asked.

            “The look on Mike’s face spoke volumes. The questions he had asked seemed suspended in mid-air—how, indeed, would we make a decision? Prior to fasting, neither of us had given thought to an international adoption and choosing a child. It had been easier when Helen had called and made the decision for us.”

            Mike was scheduled to work the late shift that afternoon. As he left the room to get ready, Anne laid the videos on the kitchen table, and turned her attention to tidying up the house. She was ready to say yes to adoption but she wasn’t ready to say no to a child in need of a home. 

Decision Time

            “A couple hours before Mike would be home, I decided to take a look at the videos. One by one I watched—they each were only three minutes long. Each video showed a child and a stuffy appearing Russian nurse in a sterile room with a few toys. The nurse was trying to encourage the child to play and engage, but each of them looked scared and unsure about what was expected of them. The children were dressed in what could only be described as goofy-looking clothes, nothing that resembled what I had expected. And, there were no infants. I felt disappointed. I decided to watch the videos again.

            “As I inserted a video for the second time, I asked God to help me discern which child he had in mind for us. I looked intently at those faces; it was the third video I played for the second time that captured my heart. It showed a fourteen-month old boy, small for his age. God impressed upon me that this was the child we were to adopt.

            “I felt a twinge of hesitation. We had our hearts set on adopting an infant, and none of the videos were of infants. When I viewed the video for the third time, God again impressed upon me that I was seeing the child we were to adopt. The name Aaron kept coming to mind. The little boy starring back at me was named Valery, and I couldn’t get over the layers of strange looking clothes he was wearing.

            “I wondered what Mike would think. As much as I wanted to wait up for him, I was too tired. I left him a note, asking that he watch the videos.

            “It seemed I had just gotten to bed when Mike woke me up. He told me we were to adopt Valery.

            “Mike had the next day off work, and we took Noah sledding. As we watched him, we talked about the video of Valery, and how ‘staged’ each video seemed. While we hated saying 'no' to three children, we both felt a sense of peace when we thought about Valery being Noah’s little brother. When Noah’s sled hit the bottom of the hill, Mike looked at me.

            “I think we should name Noah’s little brother Aaron,”he said.

            “We were excited about adopting our second son, changing his name from Valery Seregevich Korobitzin to Aaron Michael Schlegel, and we hadn’t even begun what we already knew would be an arduous and long adoption process.    

          “Just as before, the paperwork seemed endless.  We again followed the home study directives to be approved for adoption. As we neared the end of the process, we learned that not everything about the adoption could be handled in the U.S.

“The final phase meant going through the Russian court system.”

Preparing to Parent

            As the Schlegels moved forward with the adoption process, they experienced additional stressors. 

           “The agency had warned us that Russia could decide, at the last minute, to close adoptions. They had done so before, and if the political climate changed, they might do so again. It was an embarrassment for them to be seen as a country that couldn’t take care its children.

            “But that wasn’t all. Even though we knew we would be assigned an interpreter, we didn’t relish the thought of travel in a foreign country. Mike had an added concern after we learned Valery had had a brain ultra-sound shortly after birth.”

            “Anne,” he said, “there’s something we’re not being told. Why would anyone do an ultra-sound on a newborn? We need to get more information before we go any further.”

            “I agreed, especially when Mike told me ultra-sounds are never performed on new-born babies in the US. I called the agency and was told that ultra-sounds were a standard practice in Russia.

            “Another call to the agency and we learned we might have more peace of mind if we consulted with a specialist. We were given the name of a doctor in the Midwest who specialized in adoptive medicine, a branch of pediatrics. We sent the video of Valery to her.

            “She assured Mike, during their phone conversation, that unlike in the United States, a brain ultra-sound was standard practice in Russia. When Mike questioned her further, she said a cyst that showed up on the exam was of no concern. When Mike hung up, I wanted to know if the doctor had anything more to say.” 

            “Well,” Mike said, “she thinks it’s good that Valery is walking, and she also said she sees no signs of fetal alcohol syndrome.”

            “Oh my, I hadn’t even thought of that,” I said.

             Mike continued. “She also said immunizations were not likely to have been well documented, and that we should use caution in interpreting any medical records we receive. Oh, and one other thing—she recommends we pack plenty of antibiotics.”

A Possible Delay

            In September 2001, Anne and Mike were well into finalizing their travel arrangements for Russia. Anne was upstairs making beds the morning of September 11, when she heard the front door slam.

            “I headed for the stairway—Mike was taking the stairs two at a time. The look on his face, as he told me what had happened, was one of sheer terror.

            “We went downstairs and watched replay after replay of planes being flown into the Twin Towers in New York. We were shocked and stunned that anyone could carry out such horrific acts.

            “Mike told me the base had been locked down and put on high alert. He also told me he was sure he would be deployed immediately. Our gravest concern was that travel outside the country would be denied, and we wouldn’t be able to reach the little boy God had waiting for us.”

            While skies across many parts of the country were silent, fighter jets filled the skies in Washington state. They were a stark contrast to the passenger planes seen there earlier. With the proximity of the Navy base, there would be no reprieve from the noise of the military jets.

            “I prayed, and God gave me assurance about getting to Russia. I knew He would come through for us; I just didn’t know how soon. We kept tabs on the national news. Our nightly habit of praying together after Mike read from the Bible provided a sense of peace that jet noise couldn’t disturb.”

            The time came when passenger planes were again filling the skies, and the Navy issued an OK for Mike to travel to Russia. His deployment had been delayed.

            “Mike and I had talked about whether or not to take Noah with us—it certainly would be easier to make the trip without him, and we knew Rainy and Rex wouldn’t hesitate to care for him.”

            “Anne, I think we need to take Noah,” Mike determined. “It wouldn’t be fair to leave him for several weeks, and then come home and introduce him to his little brother.”

            “I agreed. To better pack for the trip, I listed, in detail, everything we would need. As I packed each item I checked it off the list; enough warm clothes for Noah and ourselves, clothes to give as gifts to the children at the orphanage, and peanut butter, which we were told was a rare and coveted item in Russia. We packed six large jars of our favorite brand; we would give some to the orphanage, and we would keep a couple jars in reserve as a tip for our interpreter. One of the last items I packed were the antibiotics Mike had picked up. At the last minute we also thought it wise to toss some Imodium into one of our bags.

            “The agency arranged for us to have an interpreter while in Russia; the same person would also handle all our travel arrangements, and attend to any other needs as well. Before we left, we knew our interpreter’s name was Dimitri, and he would need money; funds to cover our accommodations and food for all of us.  

            “The last errand Mike completed before we departed was to go to the bank, as instructed by the agency, and withdraw $10,000.00 cash, in small bills. Once we met up with Dimitri, we would turn the money over to him."

Meeting Valery

            After flying into Moscow and meeting up with Dimitri, the Schlegels boarded a train for Kotlas, 442 miles north of Moscow. The bitter cold made it difficult to keep warm.

            “Dimitri was fluent in English, and knew the ins and outs of travel, the court system, and the adoption process. Though we were grateful for his help, interactions with him at times had a black-market feel.”

            Wind chill sent temperatures plunging to forty degrees below zero. The temperature, combined with the darkness, was depressing. By the time the Schlegels arrived at the orphanage in late afternoon, they felt chilled and tired.

            There were no architectural details to break up the drabness of the cinderblock structure that housed the orphanage, cold and bleak against the dark sky. Mike and Anne took hold of Noah’s hands as they entered. The echo of the metal door closing behind them sent chills down their spines. Noah held tight as they climbed three flights of stairs to reach a chilly and sparsely appointed room.

            “A nurse carried Valery into the room and then put him down. He had been taught the words ‘Mama’ and ‘Papa’ and as fast as his little feet would carry him, he headed straight for my outstretched arms, yelling’ Mama, Mama.’ My heart just melted.

            “As we watched, we noticed Valery ran on the tips of his toes. Shoes were scarce, and the children often wore footwear that cramped their feet. Valery looked quite small for his age, even smaller than he had in the video.  He also appeared malnourished.

            "Sadly, none of the children were well-fed. They were given one meal of meat and potato mash, or watered-down soup, once a day.

            “We couldn’t wait to bond with our second son, so the three of us got down on the floor to play with him. When we rolled a ball towards him, we would call him Valery Aaron. We wanted him to get used to his new name as soon as possible, and we wanted to bond quickly.

            “Seeing so many children underfed, all of them in scratchy clothing and with little to no opportunity for normal development, made us wish there were some way we could adopt them all and give them a better home. We felt a sense of relief to learn we weren’t the only couple who had come to adopt a child.

            “The nurses enforced a regimented schedule for the children. There was a rag doll and a plastic stick on which to stack plastic rings, in the open area where the children were brought to play. We saw it was only the healthiest children who got to play with those toys. The children weren’t taught to share what little there was.

            “When the nurse came to take Valery for the night, he began screaming-loud enough to be heard throughout the building. This broke my heart. Mike and I both wanted to run after the nurse, but we knew we had to be patient and cooperative for the duration of the three-day mandatory transition period. The agency had tried to prepare us mentally for this, but it wasn’t easy. We desperately wanted our little boy to know we weren’t leaving him.”

            Anne had packed comfortable clothes for Valery, doing the best she could with sizes. He and the other children wore tight-fitting clothes made from scratchy material. The Schlegels didn’t know then that their youngest would always prefer loose, soft-to-the-touch clothes.

            The orphanage had little information about Valery’s background. Anne and Mike were told his birth mother came from a family of destitute chicken farmers, with an annual income of $238.00. She was only fifteen when she had Valery on November 2, 1999. He weighed four pounds and spent his first four months in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).

            There was no information about Valery’s birth father. His mother had placed a cross on a string and tied it around his neck when she had him dedicated, but the string looked worn and had started to dig into his skin. Anne cut it off the first chance she had; and later put it away with other keepsakes.

            The Schlegels observed the nurses doing the best they could with what resources they had. Though sparsely furnished, the place was clean. One of the women had taken a special liking to Aaron; it was evident he had bonded with her. She had held him, talked to him, and shown him love.

            Children who hadn’t received that kind of attention had obvious deficits—Anne and Mike noticed the behavior of another child who was being adopted. Their hearts went out to the adoptive couple; it looked as though the child they were adopting had attachment disorder.

More Requirements

            “Finally, the end of the three-day transition period came; it had seemed like three months. Valery wanted my attention, often at the same time as Noah. Though we had prepared Noah for having a little brother, there were times he was definitely jealous having to share Mike and I. We knew it would be an adjustment for all of us, but we were thankful we could leave the orphanage.

            “Dimitri had made arrangements for us to travel the 300 miles to Archangelsk, where we would have to present our case for adopting Valery to a judge, a necessary formality in the Russian legal system. We learned it would be an entire week before we could see the judge. Archangelsk was just as dreary as Kotlas, with little to do to pass the time.

            “Dimitri walked us through the process in preparation for facing the judge. We were to present our case in a written letter, outlining in detail how we would provide for Valery.

            “We had to write about our home, how we would raise Valery there, how he would be educated, and the type of life he would have. Only in this way could the judge ‘justify’ the adoption. Dimitri stayed at a nearby hotel, always ready and available to help us with anything we needed, including purchasing food and other necessities.

            “I was thankful it was Mike who answered the judge’s questions. He had read our letter, but it was clear he wanted to exercise his authority. His stern mannerisms and cold personality matched the cold, stark landscape outside the building.”

            Finally, the judge granted the adoption. His body language said he was doing so reluctantly. But the Schlegels still had one more hurdle—Valery would need a passport with his adopted name, Aaron Michael Schlegel, before he could travel to the United States with his new family.

            Eight days later, Aaron’s passport arrived. By then, the cold weather and the changes in his environment had him down with a cold. The antibiotics came in handy. And as his digestive system adjusted to more and better food, so did the Imodium.

            “On the train ride from Archangelsk back to Moscow, Aaron kept playing with a light switch. He was fascinated; each time he toggled the switch the light came on or went off. Once back in Moscow, we parted company with Dimitri, and before heading home, spent Christmas Day touring Red Square. The next day, it was time for our long—but welcome—journey home.”

Back Home

            Back home in Washington, the forty-degree weather felt like a heat wave compared to the cold Russian temperatures. Aaron stiffened his back when Anne lifted him from the car; Buttons was there to greet them. Aaron had never seen a small animal of any kind.

            “Our new son’s eyes were big as he looked at Buttons. Given Aaron’s reaction, our cat might as well have been a lion or tiger. We knew there would be many firsts for Aaron, and for us as well. But it sure felt good to be home after three long weeks.

            “That first night back was such a joy; we tucked our boys into bed and said a prayer. We thanked God for our new family, for bringing us safely home, and we prayed for the children still at the orphanage.”

As they watched their sons fall asleep, neither Anne nor Mike suspected the trouble that lay ahead.

***

As I heard Aaron’s adoption story, one word kept coming to mind – trust. The Schlegels had trusted God, each other, the adoption agency, the adoptive medicine specialist, and the Russian interpreter assigned to them. They had also trusted that the Russian legal system would work as promised. I didn’t ask, but I had come to know Anne and Mike well. Had they not seen evidence of another child being adopted, they might have come home with two siblings for Noah.

Chapter Eighteen