Lashed By Storms

The Final Chapter

Love Realized

Love bears all things, believes all thing, hopes all things, endures all things. So now faith, hope, and love bide, these three; but the greatest of thee is love. - I Corinthians 13: 7, 13

Anne no longer remembers exactly when the theme for the 2016 Friends Dinner was selected, but she couldn’t wait to again be a part of helping Crossroads raise funds. So, when the theme of Reach for the Stars was announced, she immediately had some ideas, and presented them to Mrs. Bulthuis.

            “My suggestions were well received, and I was put in charge of serving as overall committee chair for planning the sixth annual event. As in previous years, there were many parent volunteers, and each of them brought their skills and experiences. We began meeting on a regular basis. I served as chair of the auction committee. My energy would come and go. I had good days and bad days, and more than a few days when I didn’t know how I got out of bed, except by the grace of God.

            “Along with helping plan the dinner, I put in place each of the window planters Mike and our boys had made. It was time to get some color around the house, and those flower boxes would tax my energy far less than the garden I had grown the year before.

            “My guys kept expressing their concern for me, especially when they realized I was also putting in a drip system to each box. Just how did they think I was going to keep plants watered? I brushed it off. Mike and the boys were frustrated when I had a garden, and now they were worried when I started bringing plants home for the window boxes, reminding me of my allergies to stings. I tried to ignore the three of them. After all, I was doing everything I could to take care of myself, and I wanted to make the Timber Frame Home more appealing from the outside. I loved flowers, and I would just be careful and not make any bees or wasps angry. I thought, instead, of how the blooming plants and their various colors would dress up the place.

            “I knew I had to be careful—careful of mold when digging in the dirt and scattering mulch, and even more careful when setting out plants. And there were always chores—the never ending laundry, meal preparation, and house cleaning. I did my best to keep up with it all. I hated it when Mike would come home from a work trip and drop his bags inside the front door. What was I? His slave? Why couldn’t he put his stuff in the laundry room, where it belonged?

            "Crossroads had been granted access to a large banquet room and kitchen in one of the area's mega churches, for the 2016 Friends Dinner on April 1st. All the students, our boys included, were assigned duties. This gave them an opportunity to feel their self-worth and buy in to their own education and the vision of Crossroads."

            In the afternoon, students helped members of the various committees set up the tables for the evening. Table cloths came next. A center piece was carefully placed in the middle of each table. White covers were placed over each chair, and then a large, black cloth ribbon was tied around each one. Next, place settings were delivered to each table, and perfectly arranged. Outside the room, in a spacious hallway area, teachers and additional parent volunteers set up the table where people would check-in, and also receive their bid numbers for the live auction.

            That evening, when parents, friends, and invited guests entered the banquet room, they were amazed at what they saw. The large room had been transformed into a star-studded venue. Volunteers had to admit they had done an amazing job.

            “We had a parent volunteer prepare a delicious meal, which everyone enjoyed before the live auction, and a dessert auction. Staff, students, and parents deemed the event both fun and successful,” said Anne.

            All the preparations and committee chairs reporting to her had been challenging for Anne. At times, it had been difficult to breathe. But she would not admit anything to anyone, other than it had been a wonderful evening. She diverted any attention away from herself to all the others who had made the evening successful.

Noah’s Graduation

            “Mike and I discussed plans for Noah’s graduation party. We wanted to have a reception at the house. We planned to invite family, and of course, Noah would also invite friends, classmates, and the Crossroads staff. Graduation was the evening of May 20, 2016. Our oldest son, and four other students, would be handed their diplomas. Some of our family came in early that day, so we had a bit of time to get everyone settled in at our house, before we all left for the ceremony.

            “Our family was so happy for Noah. He had overcome his dyslexia, and had achieved a great deal at Crossroads. Because graduating classes were small, each graduate was asked to deliver a speech. According to Noah, no one was happy about this, but they all did a great job, and we were especially proud of Noah’s brief comments.

            “In addition to family, many friends attended the event. A cake and punch reception followed the ceremony, hosted by the school. It was such a lovely gesture on the part of Crossroads, and provided a relaxed atmosphere for people to take informal pictures, and visit."

            Anne had wanted to prepare the food for Noah’s party herself, but her energy didn’t allow. She identified caterers she felt would do a good job, rested the morning of the ceremony, and was able to visit with everyone during the open house.

            “It was so much fun, seeing everyone visiting and acknowledging Noah’s accomplishments. And, just as we had asked, he was welcoming people and thanking them for coming. Later, he and some of his buddies took a couple of our smaller all-terrain vehicles, and drove to the east edge of our property. They too, wanted to see, up close, the seven wild elk grazing in the pasture on the other side of the road."

Vacation Memories

            Whenever they could, Mike and Anne, and then the boys with them, had enjoyed vacations, especially those that involved outdoor activities. Shortly after Noah’s graduation, they gave thought to taking a vacation before classes would being in August for Aaron.

            “Memories from our vacation to Texas, a year prior, were fresh in our minds. At that time, we had agreed that it would be fun to spend time at a beach. I got busy and arranged all the details so we could enjoy spring break of 2015 in Galveston, where I knew the salt air would not favor the growth of mold. It was a good thing I had started those plans early—we weren’t the only ones who found the area inviting at that time of year.

            “Planning trips always seemed to fall on my shoulders. I did the research, booked the hotels, booked airline flights, and determined what we each would need in the way of clothes and personal products. And, for the trip to Texas, I had also made sure our hotel accommodations included hypoallergenic bedding and filtered air. This was a newer hotel, and knowing that helped ease concerns about my sensitivity to mold. I wanted us to have a good time, and I wasn’t about to spend time in an environment that might make me ill.

            “We flew into Houston, and then drove our rental car to Galveston. The boys were so excited – they loved spending time around water, and actually, we did too. After we had located our hotel, which was right on the beach, we rented fishing poles and headed for the water. All of us spent a great deal of time deep-sea fishing, and we toured some of the areas sights. We could still ‘taste’ all the awesome sea food we had. It seemed each restaurant’s offering was better than the last.

            “Then the day came for us to pack up—we would need to fly out of Houston for the trip home. I wasn’t worried. I had already arranged for our hotel room, and we could spend the night relaxing before our flight home in the morning. We deliberately arrived in Houston early, so that we could tour the Space Museum. The tour was incredible—we all enjoyed it, but I think Mike enjoyed it the most.”

            When they went to check into the hotel that Anne had so carefully researched, they learned there had been a small fire a few days prior, and some of the rooms were closed off for cleanup. One of those rooms was supposed to have been theirs for the night. The front desk staff apologized profusely, and rebooked a room for the family at a nearby hotel. Anne had not done any research on the facility, which was older. Due to the age of the building, the family had doubts, but the room Anne had booked was no longer available, so they had to make due. They knew that older buildings in higher humidity weren’t traditionally the best combination. It was spring break week, and nothing else was available. They drove the short distance to the older facility, and got settled for the night. Hoping to avoid problems with Anne’s allergies, they requested, and were provided, hypoallergenic bedding.

            Mike doesn’t remember what time he woke up the next morning, but Anne wasn’t beside him. She wasn’t in the bathroom. In fact, she wasn’t in the room. Where could she be? It wasn’t like Anne to not let them know her whereabouts.

            Mike woke the boys, and asked that they help locate Anne. They checked at the front desk, looked in the lobby, and then, after a bit more searching, they found their wife and mother sitting by the pool, covered with a blanket, and doing her best to rest.

            “I didn’t mean to upset my family, but the air in our room was so bad I couldn’t breathe. I had been told the air was filtered—but it felt thick and heavy. I couldn’t leave that room fast enough. I had done so well in the salt air at Galveston, but Houston’s humidity was higher. I could feel my chest tighten.

            “There didn’t seem anyplace I could go where the air was better, so I walked out to the pool area. I had brought a blanket from our room, and I covered up and tried to sleep in one of the lounge chairs. That was where the guys found me, and it was then I realized I had given them a bit of a scare. As if that wasn’t enough, I just didn’t feel good. My immune system was so sensitive—I knew that for most people, what little mold was in our room was negligible, but not for me.

            “I followed the guys to our room, and supervised the packing. It was too soon to leave for the airport, but I knew I couldn’t feel any worse there. When we made it back to the Timber Frame House, I felt even worse than I had when we left Houston. It took me weeks to recover from that trip. How I felt would come and go in waves. I was sure the waves of not feeling good were longer than those times when I felt better.

            “When I went to National Jewish for an appointment, my oxygen levels weren’t good, and that was what started a need to continuously supplement my oxygen intake, especially when I felt extremely tired, or struggling for air.

            “As much fun as we had, and as much as we enjoyed our time in Galveston, that trip became the tipping point for my health. I now had to have additional oxygen available. I hated that my dependence on oxygen was increasing. I didn’t dare leave to go into town without taking an oxygen tank or two with me, just in case I felt like my lungs were running out of air. At home, more times than not, I was ‘leashed’ to the oxygen concentrator that was now a permanent fixture of the house.”

A Colorado Vacation

            “I knew this vacation would be different from our trip to Texas. But Mike and I felt like we owed it to the boys to spend time with them, and we knew it needed to be in an area of higher elevation. Aaron would be headed back to Crossroads before the end of August, and Noah would be headed off to a community college in September. We planned a driving vacation, because I wasn’t willing to deal with all the requirements, set by the airlines, for flying with oxygen. We had also decided there were parts of Colorado we’d like to see, so I began looking at online sites for ideas.”

            Southwestern Colorado looked appealing, and the more research she did, the more Anne felt her family would enjoy time there. But, it would take lots of planning—not just in terms of overnight stays, but what they would have to do to take along her oxygen equipment and supplies.

            Mike checked in periodically to find out what Anne was considering, and they agreed they’d like to spend time in Mesa Verde National Park, and also check out the Durango and Silverton areas, as well as the Durango and Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad steam train. Elevations in the those areas ranged from 5,000 feet to over 9,000 feet,

            “When we shared our ideas with the boys, they thought that part of Colorado would be fun to visit. They had learned about the old silver mines, and were fascinated with pictures they had seen of the Puebloan cliff swellings, near the Four Corners region of the state.

            “Now that we had agreed on where to go, we had to make plans for the driving, and also consider how I would be able to participate in activities with Mike and the boys. I wasn’t about to sit in the car while my family was out exploring and having fun.”

            Anne determined they would need to take every piece of oxygen equipment she had. They would also need to pack up the concentrator and take it with them, so the oxygen tanks could be refilled overnight. The concentrator worked by taking in air around it, removing the nitrogen from that air, and then delivering purified oxygen to Anne through a cannula or a mask. The concentrator could also be used to re-fill the oxygen tanks she would need on the trip. She planned how much plastic hose she would need, and made a list of all the oxygen-related items they would need to pack, along with clothes, personal items, cameras, and phone chargers. The list seemed quite long, but everything on it was necessary.

            They planned to take their four-wheel drive vehicle, as well as a trailer to haul their all-terrain vehicle, so that Anne could ride along on excursions where cars weren’t allowed. Once the proper size trailer had been located, and rental papers signed, they began packing in earnest.

            “The five days of that trip were nothing short of terrific. The fellas had packed their gear, and managed to get in a bit of fishing. But we did so much more. We spent two full days exploring Mesa Verde National Park—the all-terrain vehicle came in handy. I could keep my oxygen with me, and see almost everything Mike and the boys did. There were times I had to wait for them while they went exploring somewhere we couldn’t drive, but never once did I feel left out. As long as I had my oxygen, I was okay.

            “The guys wanted to go zip lining – it seemed there were lines everywhere. I had a smaller portable oxygen unit with me, and so I was able to go zip lining, along with everyone else. In fact, I did three different zip lines, and my sons were impressed.

            “My portable unit wasn’t sufficient for a three-hour train ride, so for that I had to take a full-size oxygen tank with me. Mike and the boys did all the heavy lifting, and made sure nothing was constricting the plastic tubing from the compressor to my cannula. I was able to explore abandoned mines at Silverton; Aaron and Noah took turns carrying an oxygen tank so I could experience the mines right along with them.

            “We spent one night at a rustic hotel in Silverton. The air was thin—the elevation was over 9,000 feet. Just as everyone had gotten ready for bed, I realized, that before I settled in for the night, I would need a different cannula, and more tubing to reach the concentrator. Those items were in the car. Mike immediately got off the couch, put his day clothes on, and went to the car to get what I needed.

            “That five day trip was one we immensely enjoyed. We probably looked a bit disheveled as we headed the car and trailer towards home. It didn’t matter. What was important was the four of us had experienced a great time. Thanks to my family’s help, I had enjoyed our trip just as much as the fellas had.”

            Anne periodically dozed during the drive back home. She was tired, but it was a good tired. Mike drove during heavy traffic. They trusted Noah, but he had limited driving experience while pulling a trailer.

Back Home

            “It was good to see the Timber Frame House—my flower boxes really did give the place a welcoming touch. I had to smile when I remembered how worried Mike and the boys had been when I set those plants out. They didn’t say anything, but I think they too were enjoying the colors the blooming plants were providing.

            “I slowly got out of the car, and went to grab a small bag. The boys told me they would take care of that, and Mike went ahead of me to unlock the door. He told me to go inside and rest, and he would help the boys get the trailer unloaded, and bring the concentrator and the rest of the luggage in the house. Once the concentrator was in the house, the plastic tubing would run from it to my cannula. I was tired enough that my portable oxygen unit wouldn’t continue to meet my body’s requirement for oxygen. That, and all but one of the tanks needed to be refilled.

            “After the ride in the car, our couch inside the front door looked inviting. I sat down, leaned back, and closed my eyes. We had made so many wonderful memories on our trip – scenes from each day seemed to flash through my mind as I thought about all we had seen and done.

            “I could hear Mike and the boys as they unloaded the trailer. He told the boys he’d return the trailer to the rental company in the morning. As Mike stepped into the house, I thanked him for all the help he had been, and for a wonderful trip.”

            "'Of course,'he said,'I love you.'He gave me a kiss, and then walked through the house to unlock the back door for our boys."

            “Time seemed to stop. Mike. Loves. Me. And in that moment, God opened my eyes. Of course Mike loved me! Everything we had gone through, we had gone through together. I had supported him, and he had supported me. And God had supported the two of us. I couldn’t ask for a better father for our boys. I couldn’t ask for a better breadwinner for our family. I wasn’t the one flying out-of-state several times a month so that we could eat well and have nice things. And while I had complained, wishing at times that Mike would do some things differently, perhaps he had felt the same about me. God truly opened my eyes to the fact that He had never left us. He was there for us during the good times, and the bad. He had chosen us for each other. I remembered our marriage vows. We had kept them.

            “Yes, my husband loved me! I was beginning to feel myself fall head over heels in love again, with no reservations, this time, about marriage. I had the best marriage, and the best husband, in the world. God had blessed me with two wonderful sons, and He had brought us through so many difficulties. He loved me too—I never doubted that. And now, He was showing me just how blessed I was to have Mike and our relationship.

            “I felt as though I had learned a life-time of lessons in a micro-second. I didn’t know what our future held, but whatever that would be, God would be there. I wouldn’t be alone, and neither would my family.”

            Even though Anne was tired, she was determined about one thing. She had Noah check the freezer, and had Aaron check the pantry. She had on hand the ingredients she would need.

Anne got up from the couch, and stepped into the kitchen. It would take her a bit of extra energy, but her husband would have meat loaf and fried potatoes for dinner. It was, at the moment, the best way she could show Mike that she loved him too.

Reflections from Mike

            Although Anne’s health had been slowly declining, her death on that February day was still very unexpected. Two days earlier we had met with Pastor Mickey and a small group of friends who prayed for compete healing of Anne. Just two days later, God answered our prayers. But as so often happens, He answered in a way that we hadn’t even considered. Anne was completely and forever healed.

            God has worked in our lives in so many ways. Sometimes we didn’t recognize it, and sometimes we were disobedient when we did see it. Regardless of how Anne and I reacted, God has always been there, through all of our storms.

            In the top left drawer of my desk, I keep a small note Anne scribbled on a scrap piece of paper. It was a note she wrote to herself as she was editing one of Janet’s chapters. It reads, “More of God, less of Mike and Anne.” This story isn’t about the storms Anne and I encountered. Everybody has their own storms.

            This is a story of how God worked in our lives, how He had a plan where we could see none. If He can work in our lives, He can certainly work in anyone’s.

Mike

Reflections from the Author

            Anne and Mike loved each other deeply, and they shared their love of the Lord. That was evident the first time I met them. It didn’t take long to learn that Anne always put others before herself. She put God first, her family second, then others, and herself last.
            I was humbled and privileged to have Anne and Mike open their hearts and their lives. They were, I know, following God’s instructions that they were to share their story. I’ll be forever grateful to have been a part of that process.
            When Anne passed, I lost a good friend and prayer partner. A hole was left in my heart. I won’t forget her bright, contagious smile, and her enthusiasm for life and for the Lord. She left behind a beautiful family—I am blessed to know them.
            And as I think about Anne and what she brought to my life, the only true way I can honor her memory is to work every day to put others before myself. I admit I’m not good at that. But Anne left a beautiful example to follow, and the God she worshipped will guide me, just as He guided her.
                                          ~ janet

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version,

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