Lashed By Storms- CH 5

A Different Perspective

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

            Mike waited patiently for Anne to finish her comments. He was eager to share his perspective about the early years of their marriage.

            “Five months after our wedding, I gave serious consideration to a friend’s recommendation. We had grown up together, and on more than one occasion he suggested I could keep my college debt under control by enrolling in the U.S. Navy Military Medical Program. The first time he mentioned that, I thought he was crazy. As school debts began adding up, I was forced to reconsider.

            “I learned I could have help paying for my last two years of medical school and owe the Navy two years of service. After the two years of service, I would have honorably served my country, and my life would then be my own. It seemed like a good deal for both Anne and me. For no reasons other than financial ones, I signed on the dotted line.

            “At one point, Dad and I had talked about me joining his established optometry practice. We also talked about the possibility of me joining his practice as an ophthalmologist. He liked that idea, because it would allow him to expand services for his established patients. And I knew my fine motor skills would be beneficial if I decided to be a surgeon.”

            It was during his pre-med studies at Franklin College that Mike decided to focus on getting into medical school. Following his graduation from Franklin, he enrolled in Indiana University (IU) Medical School. He knew his classes would be a challenge, especially being newly married, and he was thankful he could count on Anne’s continued support.

            “I knew Dad was disappointed with my decision not to join his practice. He didn’t hide that well. At the same time, he made it known he was extremely proud of my accomplishments and I knew he looked forward to the day people would be addressing me as Dr. Schlegel.

            “School had always come easy for me, but medical school was challenging. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep at night—usually from total exhaustion. I was determined to be a successful doctor. I was also determined to be a good provider for my family, just like my Dad. I wanted Anne to be happy. She was doing a terrific job of taking care of the house and me, while keeping up with her studies and her part-time jobs.

            “I knew I’d find my niche in the field of medicine, and when I did, Anne could stay home and devote herself full time to the house and me. I wanted her to see I was doing all I could to prepare myself for our future.”

Mike stayed focused on his education; he wanted nothing more than to successfully complete medical school.

Medical School Studies

                As part of his studies, Mike gained greater insight regarding his likes and dislikes about the actual practice of medicine. The program at IU gave him the opportunity to work with physicians in different areas of medicine. It was this exposure that helped him realize ophthalmology wasn’t a good fit.

            “My best experience was in emergency medicine. I liked the variety of challenges and the opportunity to apply a broad base of medical knowledge. That held a special appeal. What didn’t hold an appeal was the thought of greeting the same patients year after year—that routine, I knew, would soon bore me.

            “Thankfully, I did know myself well enough to know the emergency room setting, with all the chaos and necessity for quick decisions, would be both challenging and exciting. Thinking on my feet was something I had been told I did well, and I knew emergency medicine was where my gifts and talents would best be utilized.

                “I also instinctively knew that ‘little white house with picket fence medicine,’ as I like to call it, should be left to doctors called to either family practice or specialty areas of medicine. I had seen Dad perform the same daily routine for decades; that kind of pattern wasn’t what I was looking for.

            “And like Anne, I also wanted children. We shared a belief in God, and I knew that if it was God’s will for us, we’d have a family someday. I often asked myself why Anne couldn’t just accept that.”

Growing Up

            From the time he could remember, Mike, his parents, and his two younger brothers, had gone to church. In fourth grade he was baptized by his family’s pastor and he felt secure about his salvation.

            “Life was good. All of us cherished our relationship with Pastor Bob, as we affectionately called him—he was a big part of our family. Actually, he was the closest I would know to a grandfather.

“As I grew up, sports was a huge part of my life. At our house, we favored football and basketball over track. It didn’t matter to my parents—they were there to offer support and cheer my brothers and me on, regardless of what sport we were playing. Mom made me feel loved, and her knowledge of basketball, in particular, was impressive, but there were times her loud cheering was embarrassing.

            “Every Sunday morning my family was in church, listening to Pastor Bob’s message, and participating in worship. My mother was very legalistic, and I was expected to follow all her rules. That meant wearing dress slacks, and a shirt with a collar, to church. It also meant I couldn’t do things like mow the lawn on a Sunday afternoon—all the focus on rules resulted in my turning away from and questioning Christianity. At that point in my life I couldn’t reconcile the unwritten ‘rules’ with the messages I would hear on Sunday mornings.

            “Through the years, Anne’s sharing her thoughts and beliefs helped bring me to a closer relationship with God. Her faith wasn’t about church and rules; it was about relationship—a personal relationship with a God who cared about me more than anyone else, including my wife.”

The Diagnosis

            “I have no memories of my mother feeling well. I do recall the first time she collapsed, and I remember being scared—there was blood around her mouth. It was New Years, and I wasn’t more than seven years old. A neighbor helped carry her to the car, and Dad drove to the nearest hospital. When he brought Mom home, Dad said that she had vomited some blood, but he didn’t share specifics about her health.

“We quickly learned that when Mom was complaining about the house not being clean enough, or meals not to her satisfaction, her energy was low and she just didn’t feel good. We all breathed a bit easier when she was feeling well enough to serve made-from-scratch meals and desserts, especially pies, and keeping the house to her standards.

“When I was old enough to better understand, I heard the initial diagnosis was some type of blood disease. Eventually the diagnosis was refined, and doctors informed Mom and Dad that she had polycythemia vera.”

            The Schlegel family learned Barbara was an anomaly—the disease usually doesn’t start until around age sixty, and it is more common among men. Her bone marrow was making too many red blood cells, making her vulnerable to a stroke or heart attack. She needed these cells to carry oxygen to her body, but the disease also meant the possibility of having too many white blood cells and platelets. It would take a delicate balance of red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets for her to feel good.

That balance seldom happened.

Graduation

            Mike graduated from IU and was awarded a prime internship in general medicine at Portsmouth Naval Hospital in Virginia. His focus on school had paid off. He and Anne figured that after his internship they would start the required two-year payback for tuition help from the Navy. They gave their landlord the obligatory notice to vacate, and prepared for the move to Virginia.

            Anne went all out planning a celebration. She knew their families would be thrilled to celebrate Mike’s degree and call him “Dr. Schlegel.” She sent invitations, arranged to rent chocolate fountains, and planned Mike’s favorite dishes—enough to serve more than 100 friends and family. Serving pieces were color-coordinated. Nothing was left to chance.

            “I mowed the half-acre ground surrounding our Camby rental. That made it easier to set up tables and chairs; it also meant less chances for sparks from the night-time bonfire setting off an unwanted blaze.

            “Everyone seemed to have a great time helping celebrate my graduation, the beginning of our Navy adventure, and our move to Virginia. We partied well into the night. This was a very happy time for us. It was the first time either of us would be living outside of Indiana, it was my first Navy assignment, my first time to earn a little income since getting married, and the first time not to pay for tuition.

“I do remember noticing, at one point, Anne and her Aunt Helen talking, off by themselves. I didn’t give it much thought.”

            The following day, Mike and Anne cleaned up from the party. Both wanted to leave the house in better shape than when they signed the rental agreement.

            They quickly settled in their new location, a ground level two-bedroom, two-bath house, close to a park and man-made lake in the Greenbriar area of Virginia Beach. The place felt more like a townhouse, and most of their neighbors were young military families, many with children. They weren’t far from the main campus of Portsmouth Naval Hospital, located in the southeastern part of the Commonwealth of Virginia.

            “It didn’t take long for me to become immersed in my internship; much of the time the Navy saw to it that I wasn’t home for days at a time.

            “When I was home, Anne and I would pray together every night, after I had read from the Bible. It was a practice I had suggested early in our marriage as a way for us to build a solid relationship with each other, and with God.

            “I knew Anne still wanted children. I did too. But it had taken a lot for me to stay focused on my studies, especially with my wife always wanting to talk. I felt bad for her, but I just couldn’t see any point in dwelling on the miscarriages. It wouldn’t change anything.

            “When I would quickly fall asleep, it was with the hope that she would accept what was. Her wanting to talk would lead to more unhappiness. I was doing all I could for both of us. I wanted Anne to be happy.

“But if she wasn’t happy, how was I going to be happy?”

***

Mike and Anne—neither of them was happy. What did the future hold for this young couple? Would their faith see them through pain and frustration?

Anne told me God intervened. But how?

Return to Chapter 4

Chapter Five

Continue to Chapter 6

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version,