Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-One
Home, Church, and School
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2
Anne’s priorities when she returned from Spain were twofold: her boys and her commitments at church. Three weeks before Mike deployed to Spain, Anne had enrolled both boys in separate pre-schools.
Teachers at each school were quick to inform Anne of her sons’ problems; they said Noah had reading delays, and Aaron was far behind others in his age group. Again, Anne was convinced both boys just needed time to catch up, particularly Aaron, since he had been born in Russia and had to learn a new language.
“I was concerned enough, however, that I did schedule another appointment for Aaron with the developmental pediatric doctor. I was reassured that Aaron was a ‘smart little guy’ and so I remained convinced it wouldn’t be long before both he and Noah caught up to their peers.”
But there were problems with Aaron, and there had been from the time Mike and Anne brought him home. When they would ask Noah to brush his teeth and get ready for bed he would comply, and they expected that Aaron would do the same. But he would just stand and stare. The Schlegels often wondered about their parenting skills. Eventually, they would come to realize Aaron’s pediatrician was far from correct in his assessment of the boy’s progression.
“We didn’t have a clue that Aaron didn’t have a clue,” said Anne, “and for years we blamed ourselves for not having better parenting skills.”
Once Aaron’s abilities were properly assessed, his parents were dismayed to learn he had a twenty-five percent hearing loss in his left ear, the same one that had scarring from the numerous times his ear drum had ruptured. Most children scream when they have a ruptured eardrum, but not Aaron. He had an extremely high pain tolerance.
“We also learned our youngest had no short-term memory. In addition, he had seizures, a Tornwaldt cyst, tremor of intent, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. We realized Aaron’s disabilities would present parenting and educational challenges neither of us had anticipated.
“Once we fully understood what we were dealing with, the focus of Aaron’s education became an effort to maximize his potential.”
Church Activities
Mike and Anne had visited many churches and spent much time in prayer before discerning the small non-denominational church was where God wanted them. They liked the family atmosphere and the pastor’s passion for preaching God’s Word.
“I deliberately took my time learning about the educational and fellowship programs available for women in our new church. God was nudging me, telling me there was a need for more, but I couldn’t know where He was leading without first knowing details about what was already offered.
“As I continued to pray, God spoke directly to my heart and led me to put together and offer Bible based, prayer based studies, to supplement the programs already in place.”
Anne wrote a Bible study, invited a few women, and God blessed her efforts through the rapid growth of that ministry. It soon became necessary to offer additional meeting times, to accommodate the schedules of the many interested women. A morning session grew to both morning and evening sessions offering the same Bible study, and before long, there were two morning and two evening sessions, on different days of the week.
“As the church continued to grow, I prayed for God’s guidance in helping me identify, tap, and train women to help in leadership roles for Bible studies and other fellowship groups. With the pastor’s blessing and the support of the congregation, I helped put together mentorship programs for teenage girls and young Christians.”
God grew the mentorship program. Older women were paired with teen girls, and seasoned Christians were paired with new Christians.
There wasn’t money to pay Anne for all she was doing, but the church did budget funds for needed study materials for her various classes and programs. The pastor continued to offer his full support. And six weeks after she returned from Spain, she was asked to serve as women’s ministry director. After time in prayer, Anne felt led to say yes.
Mike returned from Spain the first week of August, 2003. He served as a deacon in the church and willingly helped Anne with their boys. Many weekends he continued clearing trees—working outside was a good stress reliever after long days in the emergency room.
Over several weekends Mike took advantage of a Navy opportunity, to acquire training on how to become a Joint Task Force surgeon. He found the course interesting, and hoped to have an opportunity to use everything he learned.
Home Search
With no word forthcoming on when another deployment might occur, the Schlegels began searching for a larger home. They realized no matter how many trees Mike cleared from the property, there was never going to be enough light in the house. The structural design of what they had come to call “the Seabeck House”—given its proximity to the Seabeck Highway—didn’t lend itself to more windows. The Schlegels wanted more space to accommodate their growing boys and their pets. When they had purchased the house, they intended to make it work until they could find their forever Washington home.
“God had given me a vision of our next house, but there didn’t seem to be one anywhere in the area, let alone in the state, that matched the drawing I had sketched in my journal. We were looking for a house on five acres—a place with a circular drive, two hanging plants, a clear view of Mt. Rainer, and, where you had to walk part way around to get to the proper front door.
“We didn’t know this would be our longest house-hunting process ever! It took us until October that year to identify what we could call the timber frame house.”
The Schlegels had waited until finding their next residence to put their Seabeck house on the market. Anne wanted the house immaculate; she upgraded even her normal standards of superior cleanliness to appeal to buyers.
Anne and Mike did a walk-through of the Seabeck place with a listing agent and the associates from the agent’s office on Wednesday, November 26, 2003, the day before Thanksgiving. That evening, they were informed there were three offers for their house.
“After all the time and effort Mike had put into clearing trees, and all the work I had put into cleaning, we learned from the listing agent that all three contracts being presented for our consideration came from couples who made their decision based on pictures of the house and property. None of them had asked to do a walk-through with a realtor.
“We accepted the highest offer, and with funds in hand, we were able to schedule a closing on the timber frame house. It was located on five acres in Belfair, but had a Bremerton mailing address. Our closing was the morning of December 15, which left us little time to get ready for Christmas.”
The Schlegels’ mortgage company required an inspection of the house prior to closing. Everything looked good, with one exception. The company’s inspector was concerned about proper air flow in the house. It was his strong recommendation that Mike and Anne have ridge vents installed in the portion of the roof with a sixteen to one pitch, an area too steep for sufficient air movement. Mike decided it would be best to wait until spring and warmer weather to have the vents installed.
Home Sweet Home
“It felt so good for us to settle into the timber frame house. We knew it would be our home for a long time. We felt blessed to again be living in Washington state, a place we continued to love. It was where we wanted to raise our boys, and where Mike and I looked forward to his retiring and us growing older together. And, ideal for us, were the endless outdoor opportunities.
“Mike and I had some big plans for the house, a craftsman, two-story originally built to function as a bed and breakfast. It had only been used as a single-family home, however, and there was charm everywhere. We loved the arched windows, the wood corbels, the art niches and the red wood siding.
“There were two fireplaces, both on the main floor, and each framed in river rock. Cherry wood inserts gave a warm tone to the maple flooring.
“I looked forward to cooking meals for my family and friends—the large custom kitchen had a six-burner gas stove, two ovens, and a sub-zero freezer. And best of all, from the kitchen, I could keep an eye on my boys while they played in the adjacent family room. We agreed the four years it had taken us to find the place were worth every minute of our time and energy.”
Upstairs, each bedroom had an en-suite bathroom. At first, Noah and Aaron chose to share a bedroom. Later they decided they each wanted their own room. Anne and Mike took the largest bedroom suite, to accommodate their king-size bed and over-sized wooden dresser, chest of drawers, and night-stands.
They discussed plans for adding to and refreshing the landscaping, once spring arrived. The area immediately surrounding the house was terraced; every bit of ground on each level needed attention. Old landscaping material would need to be cleared, dead plants removed, and then each level spruced up with new, young plants.
“I took advantage of the cold winter to add personal touches to the inside of the house. The home’s architecture called for custom draperies, window coverings, and pillow covers. I found beautiful silk and linen fabric on sale. I came home with yards of material and matching threads and trim. My high school home economics instructor would have been proud; in her class I had learned basic sewing skills and discovered a love for the craft.”
When spring came, Mike got bids to have the ridge vents installed as recommended by the mortgage company’s inspector. The expense was far more than he and Anne anticipated. The price of a permit for the work and the workers having to manage steep roof pitches and full-size beams, brought the final cost to just under $5,000.00.
“Mike had done his best to get bids for the project, but with the challenges of the roof pitch, the bids weren’t competitive. They were high. We took satisfaction in knowing that at least we’d have good air circulation throughout the house.
“I managed to get a lot of yard work done that spring, and I had the terraced areas of the yard looking pretty good—it’s amazing what a few layers of mulch scattered around new young plants will do for a yard. Mike helped me when his work schedule allowed. We had also talked about putting in a pool, for the boys and for ourselves, but money and time constraints meant postponing that project.”
Another Deployment
Mike and Anne weren’t surprised when he received word of his next deployment. This time, he would serve in Djibouti, Africa. As with his last deployment, neither of them knew how long he would be gone.
“We still had a few boxes to unpack before Mike left, and all of us became aware of an unusual sound in the house. Every time one of us opened an outside door, we would hear a whooshing sound. The noise brought back memories of hearing sounds in other places we had lived; over the years we had gotten used to noisy appliances, creaky floors, and squeaky doors. All those noises seemed louder at night.
“The whooshing sound took a bit of getting used to, but after a while we didn’t even notice it.
“Just before Mike left for Africa, we had talked about getting the pool installed—as with other projects over the years, I would see to its installation. We agreed as to what we wanted in a pool, particularly that it would be heated. I would make arrangements for its installation while Mike was gone.”
Mike left Easter Sunday, March 27, 2005, thankful his capable wife would not only take good care of their sons, but also manage everything concerning the household and the boys’ education.
“I did have the pool installed,” said Anne. “It was a pop-up model, eighteen feet in circumference. The boys were excited to swim at the house, and I knew they’d have hours of fun. Once the pool was in, I’d work in the yard while Noah and Aaron splashed and had a great time. They’d each had lessons, and they were excellent swimmers.
“After countless hours, I was finally satisfied with the appearance of the yard. I had tackled one terrace at a time, cleaning out what was left of old mulch, putting down weed control fabric, planting small bushes and flowers for color, then putting a thick layer of mulch around each plant to help hold moisture and provide a professional landscaped look.
“With the pool installed, and room to run around in the yard, my boys didn’t like it when I took them with me to run errands. Once in a while I’d hire a sitter and let them stay home and play while I took care of the banking and picked up groceries.
The Accident
“One afternoon I left the boys with a sitter—I had just finished picking up some sewing supplies when she called, frantic. Aaron had hit his head while swimming and she had called for an ambulance. I immediately headed for the car, and just as I was opening the door, my cell phone rang again. It was Noah, yelling, “’Mom, hurry. It’s really bad.’”
Anne headed for the hospital nearest her home, where she knew she would find Aaron. The gash on his head required thirty stitches, which had to be sutured in layers from the inside out, because the wound was so deep. By the time the emergency room doctor put his instruments down, only twelve stitches were visible on Aaron’s forehead, above his left eye.
“I was troubled by what had happened in the pool. I finally learned that the boys had been laughing and splashing while the sitter was in the house. Noah and Aaron were horsing around and evidently a wave of water carried Aaron to the edge of the pool where he hit his head. We had no way of knowing if a seizure contributed to his hitting the edge. Prior to the accident, any seizures he had were barely noticeable. But after the accident, he began having more seizures.”
After the pool incident, Anne took no chances. Hiring a sitter was out of the question. If she had to leave the house, Aaron was by her side.
“I knew I could attend to his needs better than anyone. Once Aaron’s doctor confirmed he could swim again, I either sat at the edge of the pool or joined my boys and kept an eye on them while enjoying the pool myself. They both knew not to go in the pool if I weren’t with them. The accident had frightened both of them enough that they didn’t disobey my instruction.”
Test Results
Anne didn’t have a spare minute for herself. Church commitments were a large part of each week. She absolutely loved working with the women in her church, where her teaching and fellowship gave her a deep sense of accomplishment. She knew the classes, as well as the workshops she facilitated, were ordained by God, and He was certainly blessing all He had begun through her.
“I cherished my church involvement; I felt needed, loved, appreciated, and valued, both by God and by my peers. My volunteering gave me an identify separate from that of wife and mother, and no one could take that away.”
Anne had other volunteer responsibilities. She had enrolled Noah in kindergarten at a Christian school. There, she spent time helping and encouraging other children to read.
“It was in that classroom I saw for myself that my oldest son was struggling to read. He was definitely behind. I was crushed when his teacher told me he was so far behind expectations for kindergarten that he wouldn’t be allowed to enroll in first grade. During a parent-teacher conference a few days later, the teacher suggested I have Noah tested to determine why he struggled with reading.”
Exhaustive testing at the Linda-Mood Bell Clinic in Seattle confirmed Noah to be severely dyslexic. Remediation services were available through the clinic, at considerable cost. Noah would need to be taken there several times a week. Anne waited until Mike was able to call home. After a brief discussion, they determined it would be better for Anne to learn the remediation strategies for herself, and then put those techniques into practice with Noah, therefore saving travel time and money.
“I knew this meant I would be home schooling,” said Anne, “something I hadn’t even wanted to consider. But my husband had taken a clear position against public school for our boys; he was afraid their needs wouldn’t be met. I couldn’t argue—I wasn’t in favor of public school for either of our boys, and like Mike, I felt it was important for them to have a Christian education. We knew we couldn’t consider private Christian schools because neither Noah nor Aaron would be able to perform at required academic levels.”
Anne learned the Bremerton School District offered a home-school option. Parents who took advantage of the program could also enroll their children in the district’s music, art, and sports programs to supplement the home school curriculum. Those programs provided social opportunities for students and allowed them to explore interests outside the basic classroom curriculum.
Anne learned of one additional advantage for parents who home-schooled—they would be given opportunities to meet one another and share experiences and ideas. Parents would meet weekly with a guidance counselor, and students had to meet specific milestones and demonstrate expected proficiency.
Two Curriculums
When Anne began home schooling Noah in August 2005, she couldn’t ignore Aaron’s needs, so she worked with two curriculum: Noah’s designed for first-grade level, and Aaron’s for pre-school.
Anne approached home schooling with the same level of enthusiasm she approached everything—with a desire to do nothing but the best. She spent countless hours preparing lesson plans. She incorporated Christian curriculum into those plans and held herself to high standards, the same ones to which she held herself in her volunteer work at church and the efforts she continued to put into the house and the yard.
“It didn’t take long for me to realize I hated home-schooling; I hated it with a passion! I was putting in eight-hour days just to get through the lesson plans. I was determined Noah would learn to read and I was determined Aaron would eventually learn basic academic kills. I used every bit of the information from the Linda-Bell Mood Clinic, certain I’d have Noah reading in no time.
“I was frustrated because it was so difficult to teach him, and I could tell it was so frustrating for him to learn. The clinic had prepared me for the fact that dyslexia differs from person to person, and that not all remediation strategies work the same for all individuals.
“I didn’t know then that it would take both Noah and me, working together over the course of several years, to discover the tools that would eventually, and effectively, help him overcome his dyslexia.
“The first time I was able to visit with other parents, I was shocked to learn most of them were only spending an hour a day, three hours at the most, to teach their children. And they were using the same curriculum content. I wondered how they could possibly get through each day’s assignments so quickly.
“Then, a few weeks later, I learned I was the only home-school parent in the area whose children had learning disabilities. No wonder I was putting in eight hours a day, five days a week.
“I couldn’t wait for Mike to get home. I needed his help.”
Day after day, week after week, Anne patiently worked with Noah and Aaron. Progress. When it did come, was slow. She knew it would take time, effort, hard work, and tons of patience before Noah would become a good reader. But she was determined the day would arrive when he wouldn’t want to put a book down.
Working with Aaron presented a different challenge. Because he had no short-term memory, she found herself repeating the same material over and over again. It was overwhelming. She knew it wasn’t fair to compare how easily learning came for her and Mike to the difficulty their boys experienced in learning, but this certainly added to her dislike of teaching.
One More Challenge
“Weekends and evenings were the only time I had for myself, but it wasn’t time for luxuries of any kind. I had classes and retreats at church, the house and the yard, and canning and freezing vegetables from my garden. I enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment as I arranged jars of canned goods on shelves—those and the frozen vegetables would come in handy for soups and stews during the winter.”
Years later, when Anne would recall the days of homeschooling and her commitments at church, she realized her self-imposed schedule was completely out of control. She was on a merry-go-round of activities, all of them important, all of them necessary, and she didn’t know how to stop. Her feeling of accomplishment with her church activities soothed her when the frustrations of homeschooling became overwhelming.
But there was one other challenge.
“Try as I might, I couldn’t keep up with the dust. Even though Mike wasn’t home, I felt it important to keep our home immaculate. I managed to keep up with the laundry, the dishes, and the vacuuming. I kept every bathroom spotless. But the dust—everyday there was dust. If I didn’t dust every day, I could use the tops of my furniture as note pads.”
Others may not have noticed the dust, but Anne did. It was unacceptable.
And, it would change her family’s life.
***
Dust. How many women have complained about the time needed to dust? Listening to Anne outline her daily regime, I don’t know where she even found the energy to be concerned about dust. But Anne was a perfectionist and she prided herself on keeping a clean house. Her schedule was exhaustive and exhausting. Something would have to give. But what?
Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version,
copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a division of Good News Publishers.
Used by permission. All rights reserved.